Sunday, December 31, 2006

New Years Eve 2006

On New Years Eve we had planned to go to a local Steak House and have a super steak. This we still did, but the news of seven bombs in Bangkok filled us with dread. One being only 25km away.

I would put money on this being the work of the Extremists from the south, the Junta seems to want to pin it on the leader of the old government.

I don’t think we have seen the last of the problems that Thailand as to face, there are loads of rumours about a counter coup and the confidence in the Markets is terrible. Let’s hope nothing happens and life goes on as normal.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Butter in Mouth

The above is a classic "Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" shot!

In all fairness Elizabeth is a very well bahaved girl, there are very few times I wish she would shut up.

She seems to be happy and will reward you with a smile when you least expect it. I cant beleive how i've taken to being a Father, but its great!

I reckon another three or four kids should do it.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Family visitors

Today we were so happy to see my cousin Ann and her Husband Andy. They are the first family to visit me in Thailand since I moved out here.

They have been on a month long tour of the world, LA, New Zealand and a visit to Uncle Steve in Perth. Bangkok was the final stop on the tour. I met them at Mochit BTS Station and we called in at the house to pick up Nuch and Elizabeth.

From then on things didn't go as smoothly as we had planned, we had planned to go to Auyuttaya and then on to Bang Sai, get out from the smog. Nuch decided that we should go to Bang Sai first, however we got lost and only after three U turns did we find Bang Sai Craft site.

It was well worth it, a craft village in plesent surroundings, lots of trinkets to buy at silly prices. Elizabrth was getting hot so we decided to find somewhere to eat and then head back to home. We found a lovely riverside restaurant and had a good thai meal. On the way back the petrol gauge was showing empty, I had to crawl back at low rev until we forund a garage.

Nuch's parents kindly agreed to look after Elizabeth in the evening, and we took Ann and Andy back to their Hotel. Yes, I got lost again!

We all went down to Patpong night market, Ann was in need of some retail theropy and Andy wanted to spend some money, so the two went well together.

We had planned to go to Cabbages and Condoms, but by the time we at finished aroeund Patpong, we al wanted a drink.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Christmas Dinner

Sadly, not the christmas dinner I had!

All day I had been looking forward to Christmas Dinner at the Amari Don Muang Hotel.

A Full Buffet, I was going to pig myself stupid. As is usual in Thailand, we arrived and you guessed it, no Christmas Dinner. When we asked why the Thai Shutter look came over the Receptionist. This means either "Don't ask me" or "This conversation is over" The advert is still on their web page this morning.

So to Amari Don Muang Hotel I say " I hope you close down soon, being as the Airport is no longer there"

After a shitty 90 mins drive back to a restaurant hear our house we had dinner, Fried chicken, cashews and vegatables in chilli sauce with pineapple fried rice doesn't quite cut it as a true Christmas Dinner.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas Morning

Elizabeth woke us up at around 5am, not because she wanted to open her presents, but because she had had a huge dump and needed changing.

We took her downstairs and surrounded her with her presents. Thanks to Phil and Mum for the great presents. She now as more cloths than Mothercare.

Soon Nuch had to get ready for work and I will do a bit on the internet, later i'm going to a supplier and meet Nuch from work. We are off to an Hotel for Christmas Dinner, i'll let you know what it is like.

No Great Escape

This year Christmas will be very different, or rather the lack of Christmas will be different.

Nuch will be at work, i'm visiting a supplier on Christmas Day, so pretty much a normal day.

Its he silly little things you miss;

The bad piss up tonight

Christmas Dinner
Forcing the last scrap of food down your throat
Falling asleep in front of the telly
Family arguments

Lets not forget classics like The Sound of Music (Which I wont miss), The eastenders Christmas special and of course The Great Escape, which I will miss.

I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Bloody Cold

As if by clock work, the temperature as started to go down, as you can see from the picture.

This morning at 8am it was only 18C, I actually had to put on socks and a sweat shirt. Next we'll have frostbite.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Thai TV somehow gets worse!

Just when you thought it was safe to watch Thai TV, it plumb's new depths of shitedom.

There isn't an ounce of talant on the whole system, the acting is all done with facial expression. I'm sure that I could write the screenplay, because I can tell you 15-20 minutes before hand what is going to happen.

The soaps just beggar belief, the story is usually three women and two men, one of the women will be an absolute bitch and one will be a deamour little kitten who you know will get her man. The men are pathetic lap dogs. None of the storylines bear any semblance of real life, most being set in the Mercedes set.

Game shows are shocking, one as celebrities on it, not winning for charity, but for themselves.

Comedies are anything but, slapstick at its worse!

All have to have the obligertory Ladyboy and stupid house maid. It is all such utter shite and puts Eastenders on a par with any Oscar winning film.

The pictures are from a recently finished soap set sometime in the past, it had all the usual traits, bad acting, shit story, sorry continuaty.

Thank god for Discovery Channel.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Get your Hole, there Cheap!

I came across this banner in the Pratunam area of Town.

Pratunam is one of the cloths wholesale areas, so I was pleased to see that they are diversifying into Holes.

I good do with a couple of holes about two foot deep and six inch round for a cloths line. I'll go and check the price out.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Dummy/No Dummy?

Elizabeth as just started to use a dummy, it as been a big decision. I don't want her to turn into one of these bratty kids who scream the place down if you take the dummy out of its gob.

The dummy does seem to work, soothing her just before a feed or just before she sleeps. I'm going to have to think of a way for her not to get addicted to the dummy.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Beat the Jones

A neighbour across the road as just put up a pathetic Christmas Tree, obviously I cant let this challenge go unanswered.

I put my Christmas tree outside, tinsel and a set of lights. Your move neighbour, bring it on!

The second picture is of Derek Myers House, now thats a display.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Thai Christmas Tree

The plant in the picture is what the Thai's call a Christmas tree.

The leaves go red at the end of the year over the christmas period, so there is the name. Apparently in the new year the leaves will go back to green until next year.

Knowing how green my fingers are, it'll be dead tomorrow.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Royal Hills Resort

The Hotel attached to the Golf Course at Royal Hills couldn’t be further in quality than the Golf course.

The accommodation is lovely, we stopped in a suite across from the main Hotel, the problem was there was nothing to do!

We had lunch on Saturday in the Golf Club house and dinner outside the resort because we couldn’t find a decent enough restaurant on site.

The following morning, breakfast was a buffet affair, if you like cold low quality food then you would have enjoyed it. Little things like a dirty swimming pool and no signs to say what part of the resort you are in didn’t help matters either.

Sadly I have to say avoid the Resort as a Hotel, just go for a game of golf.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Royal Hills Golf Course

This weekend thanks to an early Christmas present from my Mum we went to the Royal Hills Resort in the Khao Yai National Park.

The resort as a golf course attached, and I have to say one the best I’ve played for some time, certainly the best in Thailand.

The facilities are very good and as you can see from the shot of the 1st, the views are spectacular. Right the way through the course the holes give you new challenges, all have water on them and the greens are small and tricky.

The 18th is a fantastic hole if you can hit the ball straight and accurate, sadly because of my three months lay off I wasn’t hitting the ball anywhere good enough.

The best bit about the day was the cost, an 18 hole round with caddy and buggy came to £31, not bad!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Bang Pu

Nuch told me about this place that had been on Thai TV, It turned out that there were a load of migatory birds, big white sea birds that you could feed. Sounded interested. We collected Nuch's parents and nephew and off we set.

The place (Bang Pu) was around 50km from Bangkok, like a resort. A long pier with a good restaurant at the end of it.

The birds turned out to be seagulls! Not very big ones at that. I told Nuch that they are as common as you like in the UK. They were good fun to feed, reminded of Barmouth Harbour, being mugged by very big Seagulls for your Fish and Chips.

We had a good meal and I got to see more of Thailand. As a last treat I got to see some sort of snake in the water, that was impressive.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

My first Fathers Day

Today was Fathers Day in Thailand, it was special for me because it was my first ever. Fathers Day is taken a lot more seriously in Thailand, especially as it is also the Kings birthday, and anything to do with the King is taken seriously!

We went round to Nuch’s parents and Nuch gave her Dad a ceremonial flower and he blessed her, then it was my turn with Elizabeth, all she seemed interested in at the time was her next feed, oh well!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Kings Birthday

This weekend Thailand celebrates the king’s birthday. Most Thai’s have been going mental all year because it was his 60th year on the throne. Now it’s his 80th year birthday, so another celebration.

Our Housing Project arranged for a group of Monks to come and give a blessing, Nuch prepared some food the before and off we went at 7am to see the Monks. In all fairness there was a good turn out and the Monks left with at least 20 sacks full of snap.

As you can see Elizabeth looks pretty bored by the whole affair, she had better get with the program tomorrow because it’s Fathers Day, my first.

Sunday, December 03, 2006


This year as seen loads of celebrations for the Kings 60th year on the Throne. The Thais have been throwing themselves into big time worship.

The Kings colour is yellow and almost everyone wears yellow coloured polo shirts with the Kings emblem.

There as been a big debate in the Ex Pat circle as to whether to were one or not? On one hand I fully respect the King of Thailand, but on the other he is not my King. I had been spared the problem because Nuch could not find a shirt big enough for me.

The other day we went round to her parents and her Mum had managed to find one that fit and had paid the best part of a days wage to get it, crunch time. I told Nuch about my misgivings as to wearing the shirt and she put it in a way that made me feel ok to wear it. “Don’t think of this shirt as the Kings shirt, but as a mark of respect by wearing the Kings colour” So on Fathers day I’ll be wearing the shirt.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Christmas is Coming!

December 1st, the Christmas tree as been put up, and the Christmas spirit will try to be gotten into.

My Auntie Averyl asked if I was looking forward to Elizabeths first Christmas? Technically Elizabeth wont be celebrating Christmas, she will be bought up as a Bhuddist, so Christmas will have little meaning for her.

I’m sure however that she will get a few presents, Phil as already given us a couple for her and hopefully she will have more to un wrap.

Christmas Day being on a Monday will be a strange affair, Nuch will be at work, so I doubt I will bother with a Christmas lunch, which is a pity, Roast Turkey dinner is my favourite meal.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Living Life November 2006

November as been a very tiring month, while Elizabeth is settling into a routine, it as taken a lot of hard work to get us this far.

Being hard with her, feeding her when we want to feed her, not when she decides, making her drink her milk even though she wants to sleep and trying to make her sleep just so we can catch forty winks.

Its all worth it, she is really beginning to show some character, she is quite a travelled baby, going to the coast twice and a trip up to northern Thailand. She loves her car seat and always falls asleep in it. I can be seen sometimes in the evening walking with her around the project with her in the car seat and me nearly breaking my arm with the weight. I now have a bit of a beer run, I have two stops in the evening were I get a drink of beer with the locals. I sure they think I’m insane! Oh well it gets me free beer.

It’s pretty certain now that I will have to return to the UK, once I’ve raised the capital to get back (No small feat)! We have to get Elizabeth’s Birth certificate and then her UK passport. Then we have to get Nuch’s visa. Then save up for the air fare, but not before we raised a nest egg for when we get back to the UK. So chances of us getting back soon seem pretty remote.

If anyone who reads this knows me and knows what skills I have be on the look out for a job for me.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Thailand snake facts

From Perth Duty Free I bought the lad’s mag, Zoo. Basically the same as the UK version, but obviously not as good.

There were two references to Thailand and both to do with snakes. The first is the geezer who broke the world record for kissing king cobras, his name his TWAT!

The second shows the world death rate for snake bites, maybe the twat in the first picture should heed these facts.

Hot, hot, hot

Blinking heck it’s been hot this month, several days in November Bangkok as been the hottest capital in the world.

Only this week have we had a shower, everyone is feeling the heat, no one seems to be able to cope very well, even the Thai’s are moaning about it!

Hopefully by the end of December, the cooler winter months will have kicked in and I will stop sweating like a stuffed pig.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Dave crosses the line!

It was good to see Dave from Huddersfield. He hasn’t been out to Bangkok in nearly a year, so was eager to do a load of business and catch up with a few people.

We spent a very entertaining night down Soi Cowboy, one of Bangkok’s naughtier nightlife venues, probably the best one. For more about what happened I suggest you speak to Dave!

For two days I helped Dave in and around Bangkok getting a load of gear for his business, it was good to get around some of the places that I haven’t been in a while, Chinatown, Pantip Plaza, although if one more little shit comes up to me in Pantip Plaza and asks if I want buy “Porno DVD”, do I look like a pervert?

Dave was also stricken by a bug for a few days, maybe his body getting used to the temperature and humidity again, or maybe just the copious amounts of Tiger Beer we drank.

Hope to see him again soon, and this time he won’t be as ill.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Thai Cars

Click on Picture to Enlarge

Thailand isn’t known for its car manufacturing, the only home grown car seems to be the lowly Tuk Tuk taxi.

There are also the usual Jap plants like Toyota, Honda, Mitsubishi and Isuzu, being as Thailand slaps an unimaginable tax on any cars not made in Thailand, when you see a Porsche, Ferrari or Lexus it’s a rarity.

This Thai made car is the exception, whether it will ever see the showroom is a different story, let’s hope it does, I can’t wait to see how it will handle the pot holed roads of Bangkok.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Were all French now!

Just received a copy of my birth certificate, I need it to get Elizabeth’s certificate from the British Embassy.

The certificate turned up, it cost £23.99, I kid you not, and it was post marked in France. Does this mean that the UK as sold all the rights of certification to the French or the UK just hasn’t the skill to do this type of work?

Sorry state.

Friday, November 17, 2006

More Health & Safety

It never fails to peek my interest as to the extent a Thai worker will go to expand the limits of "Not" Health and Safety!

These two guys were working on live electrical wires, crawling up a bamboo ladder and working over one of the busiest roads in Bangkok, Nutters.

In the UK, they would have a cherry picker, one lane of traffic stopped, a council official making notes, full harness and a proper class 1 Ali ladder. Obviously whilst all this is being sorted these two will have done four jobs and be moving onto the fifth!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

White Rabbit

This bloody great big Yacht was moored at Fremantle Harbour, it was kin’ huge. Even the local Bobbies had stopped to admire it. It was the biggest private Yacht I have ever seen, the crew sat below decks watching a huge 72” Plasma, on the back they had two speed boats which anyone would want as a pleasure craft.

It turns out it is a new boat ordered by a business man from Singapore, one must assume a very wealthy business man.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Phil and Mark

This week Phil and Mark hit town. Its always good to see them and this week was no exception.

I only had a couple of nights out with them and during the day Phil was on a mission for the new property compnay he is setting up, he as several properties in Bangkok. I'll bring you more details when I get them on his company.

The night I went out with the pair of deviants, we ended up at the Hard rock Cafe, one of Phils favourite places! I'm getting a bit to old for all the loud music, it was Phils treat, and I did quite enjoy myself.

We rounded the night of with a grossle burger from outside Nana Plaza and then back to the Hotel.

Cheers guys, and thank you Mark for the offer you made, much appreciated...

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Serpentine Falls

Around 20km from Secret Harbour, where the parkers live is a beautiful little spot called Serpentine Falls.

There is a picnic site, which for a small charge you can have use of one of the electric Barbies. To see outdoor Barbies at most tourist sites is not uncommon.

Uncle Steve acted as chef whilst Auntie Paula and I put the world to right. There is a small clan of Brown Kangaroo living here, around ten females and one muthafucker big make who had a huge set of gonads. Most of the females had little roos sticking out of their pouches and they did look cute.

The male had us in sight all the time, making sure we weren’t moving in on his bitches.

The BBQ was first rate and the views fine. We walked up to the fall and as you can see from the picture, not a lovelier sight could be had.

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Perth Parkers

Going to Perth meant seeing the first family for nearly two years, and as you would expect it was the Parkers who emigrated to the other side of the world nearly 20 years ago.

Steve and Auntie Paula have always been favourites of mine, taking me on some of my first outing to pubs and Auntie Paula’s knack of cooking the perfect roast onion.

I also reacquainted myself with my cousin James, I last saw James on a fleeting visit to the UK 10 years ago, as you can see from the pics, and he’s changed a bit. James is an accomplished Bass player with a couple of Death Rock Bands, a bit of a celeb in the Perth area. Still a cool bloke I’m happy to have as a cousin. Although at the moment he looks more like Abraham Lincoln than a Parker. Steven, my other cousin is out over in Adilade so I didn’t get to see him.

I really appreciate the time and trouble the Australian Parkers out in to my time there, it shall never be forgotten.

Saturday, November 04, 2006


Isn’t technology great!

Whilst in Australia Nuch sent me a new picture of Elizabeth everyday by MMS. Even though I was 6000km away, I was able to see the day by day growth of my daughter.

God knows what the bill will be?