Mountain Bike Hell

Last weekend I foolishly decided to compete in my first MTB race for seven years. God knows what made me do it. I’ve been riding my bike a bit, but I’m nowhere near as fit as I should be. I’ve done this before and the shock of how unfit I am usually shocks me into doing something.

The event was at Hua Hin. A coastal resort about 200km from our house. We found a hotel, one I will speak about in a later blog. The course was only about 10km away in the mountains at a army base. I went the afternoon before to sign on and get my number.

The following morning I lined up on the start line. Probaly twice the weight of the whippet like bloke next to me. I hadn’t pre ridden the course, it was only 35km so should’nt be too hard.

The gun went off and away I went. I was quite pleased with myself, I kept up with the lead group for about 400m before they vanished into the distance. I settled down with a group of six riders, the course was technical, but flat.

Then we reached the mountains, the path was vertical, maybe at my fittest ten years ago I might have been able to ride them, but now I was struggling to walk up them. I was KNACKERED! The downhills were no better. I was in trouble, but at least I had done about 7km, so I carried on. At the top of the next climb there was sign on a tree that said 3km. Shit! I thought I had done triple that. I had already drunk one of my two bottles. No way was I going to finish.

The terrain was a jungle, lots of creatures making loud noises, insects, humidity. The temperature at that time of day was nearing 40C. My arms were red with sunburn, I was getting delirious and I still had 25km to go. I came to a tarmaced road at the top of a mountain. I could see the race HQ in the valley below. So I’m sorry to report I packed.

Yes, I’m very unfit and yes I’m going to do something about it.

I will be back next year, hopefully fitter and more prepared.

Driving in my Car II

Thailand road users have some how managed to surpass themselves in the poor quality of their driving.

I never thought I would be able to say this, but each and everyday I see examples of driving that can only be discribed as dangerous and life threatning.

The first picture is a common sight, your driving along at 100kmh in the left hand lane of an expressway. From out of no where, some idiot (usually a Taxi driver) comes up on the left and side of you, his wing mirror can only be a fag paper thickness away from knocking your mirror off. Is isn't worth worth flicking the V's. They never look at you. The problem is it is an excepted part of driving in Thailand. The Police are too busy collecting fines/bribes off moped riders to care.

Another major worry is the ability to stack unsafe loads on vehicles that at best should have been scrapped ten years ago. The second picture shows a lorry with what must be a ten tonne load being held up only by its greedy bars.

I have had discussions with several Thai people as to the Thai driving style. They get very affronted when you criticise the driving. It as to be said, even allowing for little quirks and traditions, Thai driving is shocking. If someone drove like this in the UK, if the Police didn'y book them first an angry mob of road ragers would have baseball battered him to death at the side of the road.

Sin in Singapore

We caught the overnight train from KL to Singapore; it is a journey of about 450km. I booked two sleeper beds. Nuch as never has been on a train before, so she was nervous about it. The Train Station at KL is a work of art. It looks more like something you would expect in Tokyo. Very modern and functional. The fare was only £13 return. It’s a great way to travel, a good adventure.

After about fifteen minutes into the journey, and I’d finally settled into my upper bunk bed the problem started. The woman across the isle began to snore with the venom of a pneumatic drill. At first it was funny! Then it became worrying. She was blocking out the sounds of the train. I’m a light sleeper anyway, so I had resigned myself to no sleep and had a good book. Nuch however wasn’t, she sleeps through my snoring every night, and this however was different. Everyone in the carriage was getting up just to see if the woman had smuggled several farm yard animals with her.

In the morning, everyone including Nuch and I were very nasty to her. Talking in load voices about “who was sleeping with a farm yard animal last night”. I actually wanted to throttle her.

It was Monday 1st May, Labour Day. The streets were very quiet. We decided to find a Hotel for the day. A) To get some sleep and B) to get a shower. The Taxi driver took us to three Hotels, all fully booked. He then asked if we were fussy, he knew a Hotel that would have room, so long as we had open minds. Sod that! Just get me to a Hotel. We pulled up and straight away that a Hotel letting rooms for the hour was going to be interesting. We checked into the small room and went straight to sleep.

Around Dinner Time, Nuch realised she hadn’t eaten for a few hours and off we trotted to find some food. Right! This is when things became clear. We were only in the middle of Singapore Red Light Area. Women on the side of the road, who looked very Chinese were wearing next to nothing and parading for all the guys. I had to laugh. I had just come from Bangkok, the Sin capital of Asia to Singapore. Singapore the State where you can be whipped for dropping litter or be-headed for spraying graffiti. Here we were in the middle of a vice den.

We caught a Taxi and headed Down Town. Singapore is a super clean and orderly place. It is also expensive. On a par with London. There does seem to be some night life going on, I would come back here, but harmed with a bit more info. We ate at a Thai Restaurant. You guessed it “Not as good as Thailand”.

On the way from The Hotel back to the Station we were treated to a spectacular view if the Singapore skyline, all lit up at night, it looked fantastic.

Singapore Railway Station is totally opposite to KL. It reminded me of Derby Station circa 1978. Very old, dirty and a news stand that obviously used to be a branch of W H Smith in the colonial days. We did however have a fantastic meal here. I had Fried Blackened Beef in a Chilli sauce with Special fried rice. Fantastic. This meal even rated on Nuch’s “Compared to Thailand” scale as OK.

So Singapore. A first world nation state, but don’t scratch the surface.

Kuala Lumpur

Last week Nuch and I went to Kuala Lumpur and Singapore for a few days. I have always wanted to go to KL to see the Petronas Towers.

We caught an Air Asia flight, this Airline is the region equivalent of Easy Jet. The main difference being is that the staff are a lot more courteous and the planes are always clean. The cost for both of us came to £50 including Tax.

On arrival at the new LCCT Terminal (Low Cost Carrier Terminal) we caught a bus at £1.50 to take us the 60km into the City Centre. We weren’t staying in a Hotel as we were going by train to Singapore that night. The Coach took us to the New Railway Station in KL; it was here we would catch the train to Singapore. I stashed the bag in a locker and we went to find some food.

Nuch like most Thai’s did not like leaving the Mother Country. This was no exception, Nuch had Noodles for lunch, but these weren’t as good as Thai noodles. Then we went to a Food Court to satisfy her current Pregnant Appetite. Again the food we had was no where near as good as what she as in Thailand. This is very debatable!

We caught a Taxi to the Petronas Towers, they are big, and they dominate the skyline. I had hoped to go up them, but alas we were too late to go up. Underneath there is a Huge Shopping Mall. I was amazed by the number of shops that would not look out of place on a UK High Street. Top Shop, Body Shop, Zara and M & S. I must admit I spent a fair bit in M & S. The price was the same, and they had my size, which is not the case in Thailand.

We had four hours to kill. This is when KL lived up to its reputation. It’s boring! It as no Down Town. There is a China Town on Prajling Street and errr????? That’s it. It a lovely clean first world city; however there is not a lot to do. It hasn’t the atmosphere of Bangkok or New York.

After a fairly awful KFC we trudged to get the bag and stock up on a few provisions for the train trip. In the shop I was in seventh heaven! They sold Ribena, Twirls, Cadbury’s Chocolate and Picnic bars.

So KL will be remembered for having a good M & S. Not something their Tourist Board will be happy about.

Bloody Hot!

Blinkin’ heck its been hot!

Average daily temperatures have been nudging the very high 30’s, add into the mix over 80% humidity and your clothes, shower and aircon take a beating.

Now in Bangkok they have what is called the “Heat Index” This basically is the temperature your body thinks it is. So when the temperature in the shade is 37C, the heat index will be nearer 48C, that’s 119F in old money.

Basically bloody hot!

I’ve enclosed a picture of my clock in my Office. Look at the temperature.the health and Safety should be told….

Bangkok Life April 2006

April as been a very good month. Nuch is beginning to get over her morning sickness and i'm slowly getting back on a more financial footing.

April will go down as the month of Songkran. The water festival I described earlier in the month was a complete mad time. The Thai's go barking mad and everyone seems to enjoy theirselves. Anyone who doesn't want to participate heads out of country. Asked why we didn't have the festival in the UK? Basically at this time of year everyone would freeze too death!

Jungle, VC everywhere
I've leased another car, which means I can get about alot more. Last week I went to the Khao Yai National Park. It is around 150km from Bangkok. It is Beautiful. Proper Jungle, loads of vistas and Mountains. Next time I go I will definately take my bike. The roads are just like Alpine roads, long climbs with sweeping bends. I will talk more about it in a later blog.


April also saw Nuch's Birthday. Birthdays aren't as big a thing as they are in the UK, all Nuch wanted were a few plants for the garden. So I went an

d bought the four trees in the picture. The Lelawadee Tree as beautiful Flowers that smell fantastic, when we walk out the door of the house we can smell them.

Got to now, I hope everything is well with everyone I know. The Thailand adventure continues....

Elections, Elections and more Elections

I see that there was a local election in the UK last week. I hope you all voted, you know your vote makes a difference. Not!

Recently in Thailand, there as been a snap General Election. Which was cool for the ruling party, as the opposition didn't agree with it, so decided not to take part. Last week there was a vote for 200 members of Congress. A really cushy job. SIx years sitting on Committee's, doing bugger all.

What struck me about this was the fact that no one knew what the candidates stood for. There wasn't a metre of pavement or roadside not plastered in campaign posters. All of them featuring very glum looking people with 100's of medals on their uniforms?????

I have since found out that, these people have no policies because they are supposed to be neutral. So if I had been able to vote. I would have voted for either No. 66, the year of my birth, or No. 14 because she looked pretty fit!

Like most things in Thailand there is a dark side to all this. No alcohol is served on election day.

P.S. Just as you thought it was safe to stop hourding beer, the first General Elaction as been nullified, so that will mean another day without beer in the near future....

Mangosauce

Without doubt, my favourite Thai based website is Mangosauce.com. It can be found strangely at http://www.mangosauce.com/ . I read the latest instalment today only to find that it as had to finish.

The reason is, David who runs the website relies in some part upon the revenue he gets from people clicking on the Google adsense banners, every time you click on or buy a product from the ads, David gets a small commission. However when you have 100,000 regular readers, this small commission can add up to something like a living.

Google pulled the plug because it claims that some of the material at Mangosauce is explicit, yes some is close to the bone, but it’s no worse than a recent teen girl mag telling its young readers how to satisfy the man in her life!!!!!

Please read the web site, if you agree with me and Google are not the Vice Squad or our moral conscience please email Google at;

press@google.com

Read David’s tale of Google bullying at;

Save Mangosauce

This website as had me in fits of laughter more than any other. It as to be saved. Pass this on to everyone you know.

Songkran Festival

Songkran is primarily a Festival of Water. It is held just prior to Aquarius being in the heavens. It is also the traditional Thai New Year. Sadly it more or less heralds the start of the rainy season, for the next six months the temperature will be nudging 40c everyday and you can guarantee rain, usually in the evening. The temperatures now are getting stupid!!!!

Nuch’s Songkran started at 5am! She got up very early and made a load of food for the Monks at the local Temple. Lam Lukka Temple is around 15km away, you can’t miss it, it’s the one with the huge Buddha at the front. The trip involves giving the food up to a communal point then praying and being blessed by the Monks. All quite uplifting and a feel good factor.

Songkran basically involves getting very wet; don’t be surprised as you go about your day that someone will just throw a bucket of water over you. If you don’t want to get wet, you should stay inside for the three days of festivities. Gangs in picks go around throwing pail’s full of water at passer bys, and on most corners there are Gangs that pelt you with water. Many Thai’s choose to go back to family over this weekend. It’s all very similar to Christmas in the west.

To get to Nuch’s parents you have a 200m walk down a 2m wide alley, there are houses on either side. Along this walkway there were three Songkran parties. I had to walk the walk four times. The first was ok! They weren’t sure if the Farang was up to a dousing. The second and third time I got a thorough soaking and on the last was the best of all. I had my laptop with me so not wanting a hefty bill left Nuch and I alone, just as we had past a young girl threw a whole bucket of water at us. I dodged behind Nuch and avoided any of the water! Nuch however got the full load, she was soaking!!!! I’m still laughing to myself.

Unfortunately there is a dark side to Songkran. People get absolutely shit faced! 11am in the morning and the Thai’s were on the whisky, all sounds good, but then they get on motorbikes, on the back of pick ups and even driving. It is carnage on the road. In my last blog, I said the government is trying to keep the death toll below a thousand; it will be more like 1500. Mostly through drink related deaths on the road. I saw several kids on mopeds, they were slaughtered on drink. God knows if they made it home.

Apart from this, Songkran is a really cool festival. Nuch’s Grandma as given us our own Buddha likeness for our new house, when we got home we put a garland of flowers around it and covered it in scented water. Life is good.

Bangkok Life march 06

March was a very busy month indeed! Moving into the house as taken up so much time, effort and money. I had forgotten what it was like. I started to do tile the kitchen. Nuch then decided to ask her Brother and Uncle to come and finish the job. I don’t think that I had done a perfect enough job for her. Bodge it and Scarper turned up and proceeded to make the biggest mess I have ever seen. Starting the tiling in the middle, no glue on the water pipes and why use filler when you have a spare tub of grout. In the end I ended up finishing the job, and have now got the job of taking out all of the grout that was slapped in and do it again.

As you can see from the pictures, health and safety is a not in the Thai dictionary. This suited me; I just had to be careful of the toes.

The view out of the window is now very different from Phil’s Condo, No high rise and very few people who can speak any English. My Thai is coming on leaps and bounds, maybe because I have to speak Thai or I don’t speak at all. Living out here may be quiet, but it is so cheap. Three pint bottles of my fave beer only £1.40 and the fried rice dish in the picture only 30p.

Phil and John came out again during march, I didn’t see as much of them as I would have liked, but living out of Bangkok now and also being skint limited the time I was able to spend with them. We had a good night in the Hard Rock Café, and a chicken kebab to end the night was just what the Doctor ordered.

At the end of March I went out with Kim, Jimmy and Nick. We went to the Dubliner, were they serve Bass Beer. It’s a bitter, but it doesn’t taste like Bass. Maybe the temperature means they can’t keep a live beer long enough before it goes off. After the Dubliner we went to Soi Cowboy. Soi Cowboy is one of the Girlie parts of town. We were treated to several bizarre shows; one involved a couple of women shooting darts from a pea shooter at balloons. I don’t want to go into were the pea shooter was mounted, but it wasn’t their mouths! How do they do that?

Fairly steady on the ebay front, saving up to get another car. You need a car out here, it’s not fair on Nuch having to go to work the way she does in her condition. You can now tell she is pregnant!!!!

If you have sent me an e-mail recently and I’ve not replied don’t worry. I’m not on the phone yet at the house and have to use a local Internet Café. Which is ok! However quite a few of my internet details are stored on my laptop and I’m unable to access them easily. Hopefully this will be resolved very shortly.

That’s it for March, even though were nearly halfway through April. April see’s the Songkran Festival. This means people walking up to you and throwing a load of water over you. Also a time when the kills by drunk driving goes through the roof. This year the government wants to keep it below a thousand deaths during the festival!!!!