Hot Yoi Don

Hot Yoi Don is around 80km from Bangkok. It is like a huge mud flat similar to the one in North West England

You can go on a small boat trip and pick out shell fish, crabs and sand worms, it all looked very dirty, so No Thanks!

There is a temple dedicated to a well known prince, there you could buy fire crackers to set off. Nine Hundred crackers for £3, I had too. The noise and smell was great.

We had lunch in one of the local Restaurants were you can choose your own crab. I had Prawns.

Baby

I hope you like the picture of the baby, Nuch only as eight weeks to go and getting nervous.

It’s been a fairly painless pregnancy for me, Nuch had morning sickness for the first four months, but now she is just uncomfortable.

The Thai way of doing things is very different! No Pre natal clinic, that is what your family is for, she will finish work on the day she as the baby and she will only get six weeks paid leave and a further six weeks unpaid leave.

No Mid Wife visits after the birth, although it sounded daunting, I must admit I’m looking forward to the baby more than I’m nervous. The cost of the whole pregnancy will be around 15000 baht (£220). Not bad really, the Clinic seems first rate and very professional.

So keep fingers crossed for the end of September.

Cambodian Visa Run

This week I had to leave Thailand to go and renew my Visa.

I decided just to go to Cambodia for the day, if you’ve read any of my previous post’s on Cambodia, you’ll know its not one of my favourite places.

This trip didn’t really change my outlook on the place.

I caught a very nice coach near the Ekimai BTS station at 9.30am, after a few formalities like signing the Visa and handing over my £30, off we set.

We had a fried rice lunch along the way and a couple of good films to keep us interested.

As we got closer to Cambodia, the houses began to change from, concrete to wood to tin and then to straw, all the side roads were dirt and not tarmac.

At the border, we went through Thai immigration and then walked over the border, like I said, Cambodia isn’t my favourite place and the beggars were soon out in force. It might only be a few metres from Thailand, but Boy it’s poor. When you drive from France to Belgium, there is no change. Cambodia is on its own!

We were in Cambodia nine minutes which suited me, back to the Thai border to get my next 30 day visa and away we went.

The company that organised the trip was Thai Visa Run and can be found at;

http://www.thaivisarun.com/

Giff

My friend Giff asked me to find her a man!

She is 29 years old

Fun Loving

You must admit, pretty good looking.

She is looking for a man who is similar age or younger, fantastic sculptured body and rich.

Not a lot to ask for really!!!!

Kim's Birthday Party

Kim as been a friend, and a good one for over two years. She is Japanese and as her own property company. So to get a chance to celebrate her birthday with her couldn’t be missed.

The party started at 7pm in Jep’s Restaurant. Lots of BBQ dishes to keep me happy, plenty of bottles of wine and a great laugh.

Around the table we had people from England, New Zealand, Australia, Thailand, Korea, Japan and even Burma. An international gathering.

Kim’s Mum is great fun and proceeded to dual gee at Tequila drinking, one which Gee would pay for the next day.

Thanks again for a great weekend Kim, hopefully I’ll get an invite to your 19th birthday next year……

Koh Samut

This weekend I was lucky to be able to visit the Tropical Island of Koh Samut. This will probably be the last journey Nuch and I take alone before she as the baby.

The occasion was my good friend, Kim’s birthday. There were about fifteen of us altogether and we stayed a place called Jep’s Bungalow near the Beach.

Koh Samut is about 200km from Bangkok; you have to drive to a port call Bhan Pen and park the car up and go over to the island on a ferry. The journey takes about thirty minutes and get a little rough. Once on the Island, the only means of transport are some open topped pick up’s that go around the island on the not very good roads.

Jep’s Bungalow Resort is set on the beach, there are around 25 Bungalow’s set back in the Jungle. The Bungalows are not five stars, but as we were only staying a few days, this wasn’t a problem. The restaurant attached to the place is first class and very cheap. Big bottles of beer only £1.12 and I had Pate with fantastic bread for starters and a Tikka curry for main course.

Kim and most of the others didn’t arrive till nearly midnight, but they soon hit the bar and stormed on through.

Saturday dawned, a little cloudy, but the sun soon came out. I went snorkelling in the shallows as the tide went out, and as usual got burnt to a crisp. Will I ever learn! After that it was pretty much none stop drinking for the rest of the day.

Sunday sort of followed suit, at around 3pm we chartered a speed boat to take us all back to the mainland, this was a lot quicker, taking around eight minutes.


I must than Kim and Jimmy for one of the best weekends Nuch and I have ever had.

Orchids

On the way back from Khao Yai, we stopped at an orchid market.

There were orchids of every shape and size and the cost was so cheap that we bought these four in the picture for only £6.

Nuch visits Khao Yai

I took Nuch up to Kao Yai national Park. I love the place; it is proper countryside, not much traffic and very clean air.

On the way you get to see loads of the countryside and pass through places that specialise in selling plants which interests Nuch.

After paying to get in we were treated to several good wildlife encounters. First a troop of monkeys, they were about the size of a Springer Spaniel and had fairly large teeth.

Next this snake, basking on the road. Didn’t get chance to identify it, being around six foot long, we viewed it through the car windows.

On the way out we saw a field full of Water Buffalo and a guy sitting with them. This is a scene straight out of the Vietnam war, cool.

When you visit Thailand, go to Khao Yai, its very nice, loads to do.

Hello, my name is Roast Dinner!

The Thai language is a very difficult language to pick up, not only because of the British shocking use of language skills.

It is a tonal language and is not written in English, which makes it even harder to pick up. I can pick up phrases in day to day conversation that help me understand what is being said.

One such conversation cropped up on the way home from Nuch’s work. In the car was Nuch’s 17 year old cousin, P’First. I had just taken her to the US Embassy to get her visa for a year long scholarship she as in the States.

I heard the phrase “Rost Dinner”. I took that to mean she had had a roast dinner at the Embassy. I asked what type of meat she had had, explaining my favourite was a lean roast beef. I went into my own world of fantasy, roast potatoes, two veg, mash, gravy, ahhh!

Both of them looked at me gone out! It turns out that near where P’First lives a woman had called her baby Rost Diner. This is how it came out; I knew they meant Roast Dinner. I was shocked that you would call your baby Roast Dinner. Again they looked at me in surprise and a look that said “Why wouldn’t you call your daughter Roast Dinner”

Ok, live and let live, that’s my motto. Nuch wasn’t going to let it go, she spelt the name out and it turned out the babies name was actually Rose Diana. Everything became clear, but this still left me with a craving for beef and two veg.

First BBQ

This weekend we had our first BBQ! It was hectic as you would expect.

Buy the BBQ, build it and then set about doing the food all in the space of an hour.

As usual, I couldn’t light the bloody thing! Nuch’s Brother came to the rescue, The food was great, but it had to take on a Thai twist for the guest, only two hot dogs and one beef burger were eaten, and that was by me.

The chicken breasts, prime fillet steak and Pork Loin were cut into strips and cooked, then dipped in super hot Thai Chilli Sauce, obviously there where Noodles and vegetable leaves. The Freshwater shrimp cooked lovely on the BBQ.

The only constant was the amount of beer that was drunk, on a par with any UK BBQ.
Oh yes, we also had a short shower to boot.

Scabby Dog

All over Thailand, you will always find the scabbiest, rabid dogs. These poor creatures hobble about the street and Temples with open sores, no hair and the look of just wanting to die.

In all fairness, in the UK they would be put out of their misery. In Thailand they have a strange life. The Thai’s won’t raise a finger to hurt them, but with the same breathe they wont raise a finger to help them. They are given or scrounge just enough food to survive. This is mostly achieved by putting people off their food!
So just to piss off some animal do-gooders, someone put a bullet in them please!

Siam Sato

I like to keep you up with some of the drinks I come across in Thailand; this one is just under a pint and is classed as a rice wine.

It is 18%ABV and tastes like the cheapest of cheap Perry wine, such as Country Manor or Pomange back in the UK.

After a glass full, the taste becomes just too sweet, a person can only take so many anti-freezes in one go.

The beauty of it is it only costs 25p per bottle, should you manage to drink a full one, you’d be so pissed!

Bhuddist Lent

Today was Buddhist Lent, very similar to Christian Lent and lasts three months.

We went to the local temple armed with food for the monks and duly put the food in the baskets for the Monks.

Nuch found somewhere to get blessed and we also wrote a wish on some wax and then placed it in a pot of melting wax, which we then pored onto a candle mould. I guess when the candle is lit; your wish should come true.

Asked by Nuch, “what am I giving up for lent?” I replied “The same as I give up for Christian Lent” Nothing.

The best thing about going to the temple near us, are the huge turtles that live in a lake, some of these suckers are dustbin lid size. You buy food and feed them with a skewer; some of them could take down a small child if they got the chance.

World Cup Final 2006

The world cup final was too late for me too stay up and watch. My head said Italy, my heart said France. This was mainly due to it being Zidane’s last game of competitive football.

Zidane as been one of the best players I’ve ever seen, is total control and foresight during a game as always been the best.

So when I saw the report this morning, I was disappointed. The Italians had obviously phoned the Ref before the game as seems to be the norm in Italian football these days. So to win on penalties and then see Zidane had been sent off made things even worse.

I don’t know what went off to make Zidane loose control, it’s pretty obvious that something was said, and as Zidane as proved in the past, if you piss him off you’ll have to pay the consequences.

All the press this morning were going on about this ruining his career, I don’t think so. He was still one of the best players at this tournament and his contribution to football will be his legacy.

The tournament as been OK, a bit clinical. Then again it was held in Germany!

Ghost Cars of Bangkok

The picture at first glance looks like a normal car, one thing is missing?

There is no driver; this is a common sight on the roads of Thailand. Cars happily going along, no driver!!!

This is one of the reasons Thai drivers are so shocking, half the time their not even in the car.

Borrowing and slightly distorting a phrase from a recent film “The Thai’s are such bad drivers, they shouldn’t be allowed to wash cars”

The Garden

As you can see from the picture, the house and in particular the garden has come along leap and bounds.

It took me nearly a month to clear away the hardcore from the front and cart it away. When we laid the turf, I was sceptical that it would take. The earth below was very poor, but take it did and this weekend, armed with a new mower I cut the grass for the first time.

The entire Garden was instigated by Nuch, she wants the perfect looking home, and by God were going to have it.

We have planted Lelawadee Tree’s, small bushes near the tiled driveway and larger bushes down the side. At the back, I have chucked down a load of White and coloured stone and created a decking area for stuff like hanging the washing.

It does look good! Now I just have to spend all my life keeping it watered.

On the Buses

The coach service in Thailand is second to none, it makes national express look like a bit of an also ran.

Mostly the buses are air-conditioned and look to be in good working spec.

Some of the tactics that the drivers use from A to B can leave a little to be desired, but this is Thailand and driving as a whole different set of rules. (Or lack of them)

The cost is amazing! From Bangkok to Cha-Am which is 225km, a single fare worked out to £3.50 each way. There is a bus about every thirty minutes from one of the three main bus terminals in Bangkok, to nearly any destination in Thailand, even the far north and south.

It takes a bit of nerves to go and buy a ticket, but the cost will make it well worth while.

There is also a huge fleet of private coaches, these ply the trade on popular routes and take a lot of school children and workers to and from home. I have to mention these because they are all so weirdly painted, all airbrushed with many unusual designs. Many have a fantasy theme about them like in the photo, others with film stars.

For some reason, a coach is not a proper coach unless it as a picture or stencil of Al Pincino in the Scar face roll. Why I don’t know, maybe a macho thing, or if you piss the driver up, he will cut you up with chainsaw’s.

Bike riding Clown

This picture was not taken at a circus, where clowns do acts of incredible stupidity; no this was taken on Petchaburi Road, one of the busiest in Bangkok.

Still a Clown driving however, there is a severe lack of comprehension in Thailand! The load is too big for the moped, it is dangerous, at the least it could fall off and you know you should have made two journeys. Worst case, they fall off, a lorry avoids your packages only to plough into a row of School Children. I used this example, because it happened recently. A lorry dodging a football rammed a pick up carrying twenty kids, killing five of them. The ball was fine.

Vince's Mouthsoaping

While I edit this Blog, I always look at what other people are blogging about.

I came across this by total accident, honest!

If you are of a nervous disposition or easily offended, D'ont look!

Definately 18+ XXX

http://soapmymouth.blogspot.com/

White is Right!

No, I haven’t joined the BNP!

This is the slogan that is banded about on all forms of skin advertising in Thailand, there are adverts that claim to be able to whiten your skin in weeks. From reading the labels, they seem to be VERY strong sun tan lotion that blocks out the sun. The truth is these creams probably only stop you from getting darker. It is not un-common to see Thai women with super white faces only to see it is powder, these women look like Clowns, Figuratively and actually.

The reason for the desperation for whiteness is that it is seen as a sign of wealth and education. The Chinese community in Thailand are a fairer skin; they also tend to work in offices and banks or for their family. The more China white you are, the better person you are. Thai men really go for the pale and pasty look. I can’t imagine these women are much fun to be with, always covered up against the sun, so all daytime outdoor activities are out. These girls look positively ill, they need a bit of English Pork in Cider.

If you are dark skinned you are obviously a Rice farmers Daughter who works all day in the fields and as had no education. The adverts portray dark skinned women and also in a recent one, men as being sad and not being able to get a partner.

In the UK, these adverts would not be allowed on the TV, this is Thailand, so that’s another story.

Most Thai women seem to be naturally dark, a slightly darker shade than olive Med girls. It is a beautiful colour, until Thai men except this the women will shell billion’s of Baht per year on this shitty cream.

Be Natural……

Nine Bob Note

We’ve all heard of the “Nine Bob Note”. A fable to a not so clever forger.

I came across this note from Nuch’s brother. It is the sixty baht note. This is legal tender, a commemorative note produced for the celebrations of the Kings 60th year on the throne.

Oh Well!

England 1 – 3 Portugal (penalties). Oh well, another four year wait. In all fairness the best team just won.

The Portuguese are chronic cheats, every opportunity to dive they did, argue every Ref calls and whinged at everything!

I don’t think Rooney’s red card affected the outcome; he had done nothing up till then. It only showed the woeful lack of forward’s that were bought to Germany by Sven. He bought Theo Walcott, a bloke renowned for his pace; pace would have crucified the Portuguese. However it seems he was only bought for the experience. Not a good tactic. This game was made for Defoe to punish the opposition.

I’m pleased that Sven is leaving, the only thing he as given us is a confidence to qualify for Tournaments, were as before we always messed up. We are a quarter final team and haven’t the depth to progress any further. We haven’t a Liniker, Pearce or Gazza anymore. The choice of Mclaren is not a good one. We need a proven leader who will shake up the apple cart.

Rhinaldo, I think is finished in the UK, I have heard rumours that Madrid are after him. One can only presume that his diving, moaning, tackling, getting Rooney sent off, his wink to the bench and his penalty that decided the game wont make life easy for him in Manchester. I believe mssr’s Rooney, Ferdinand and Neville will be wanting a few words.

Not England’s best performance, the brightest spark was Owen Hargreaves, who played like 10 men.

Nipples

I found this gem at a Boots chemist.

It seems to lighten the colour of women’s nipples, making them softer. I wasn’t sure at first if it was the cream of a Pink Nipple!