Spring is sprung

I'm amazed by how much i'm enjoying being back in the UK, my new life is great even though I don't know many people round where I live. The job is going well, i've just gotten a new car which I love.

In Thailand there are very little differences in seasons, the UK is so different. Spring this year as definately sprung. All the cherry trees are in full bloom, bluebells in the woods and fields of Rape Seed are everywhere. You can't beat it. I've added a couple of photos just to let you know what I mean.

Thaksin wants Man City

Former Thai PM Thaksin Schinawat as annouced his interest in buying Manchester City.

In his lastest remember me rant from somewhere not in Thailand, he as stated that he is looking at a £96million takeover of the not so in form Man City. He failed the other year in his bid to buy Liverpool when he was reminded that he couldn't use public funds.

When your personal fortune is estimated at $1.2billion, this seems like small change, I bet his family have already bought shares in advance.

Tennis star to wed Miss Universe

Thailands best known sportsman Paradorn Srichaphan and former Miss Universe Natalie Glebova. Paradorn is worshipped in Thailand, he is always on the news and his every move scrutinised, a few years back he was dating Thai singer tata Young who is the Thai version of Britney. The split up was apparently forced on Paradorn by his mother when Tata entered her slutty period.

Natalie whilst being as fit as a butchers dog is simply the most annoying person in Thailand! She won Miss Universe in Thailand in 2005, She gained alot of promo deals including the face of Singha beer. After forfilling her "Charity" obligations she came back to thailand and became the face of King Power Duty free. She as a line of lifestyle products and seems to be on TV all the time, she strikes me as being not totally sincere.The Thai's have taken her to their hearts and the match up with Paradorn seems like the next logical step.

I hope they will be both very happy!

Singha UK

On a visit to Tesco's this weekend I found that they were selling the Thai Beer "Singha" or as it is ordered in Thailand "Beer Sing"

The cost was £2.10 which is about 150 Thai Baht, you will expect to pay this at a top end restaurant in Bangkok. However in the Tesco's near me in Thailand a bottle come's in at 38Baht (48p).

I'm not actually a great fan of Singha, a little to sweet and bloaty for me, buts it was a good drop of beer and bought many memories back.

Son of Stella

The lovely Stella Artois have bought two new lagers in the UK, as you would expect from interbrew, they are fine beers.

Tonight I have been mostly trying Peeterman Artois, the taste is similar to normal stella, a little crisper and drier, but at only 4%abv, you wont be beating the wife about the head after a four pack.

Stella, I love you.

Nuch's Family on YouTube

Bored tonight, so i've downloaded a load of video's to "You Tube", This one is of Nuch's family, in it are her two young nephew's, older brother, Mum, Dad, grandma and Grandad.

It was filmed just before new year at Nuch's Grandma's.

Animals 1 - 0 Children

Today, all ovcer the news were two court cases, the first was a case of dog fighting, a sick idiot let his house be used as a fighting den for pit bull's. When the police raided there were eight dogs in a shocking condition, for his trouble he was found guilty and sent down for two years.

The second case featured four women from the same family who forced a two year old and a three year old to fight on video. I haven't seen the video, I don't want to! Scenes include the two year old boy in nappies begging not to continue, the children are handed hairbrushes, the three year old girl smacks the boy in the face with it.

In the background the mother of the toddlers, her mother (The one who looks like a man in the above picture) and her two sisters swear and call the children to hit harder. When asked what made them do it, the Grandmother said "They need t' be toughened up livin round ere". The video was discovered by the farther when he came home on leave from Iraq, he went straight to the police.

The biggest talking point was the sentence they recieved, they were all given one year suspended sentences!!!!WTF!!!!

The womens names are Zara Olver (21), Carole Olver (49), Serenza Olver (29) (Nice belly and tatoo) and Danielle Olver (19)

So as is usual for the UK, the country that gives more to animal charities than children charities, you'll be sent down for dog baiting, but walk free for baiting two very young children.

Joke website

Check this joke based website out.

Be warned it as some offensive stuff on it!!!

eJoker

Thailand's naughty bits

On my return to the UK I get asked my most people I know "How did I cope with all the dirty old men out there?"

This gets my goat up a fair bit, In Bangkok the "Working Girl Scene" for tourist is restricted to three or four areas, Sukhumvit Road for a few miles is the best known, there is an area called Patpong which is a famous tourist trap where you catch the famous Ping Pong shows. An area heading out of the centre of Bangkok called Ratchda as a lot of up market brothels.

All this despite the fact that prostitution is illegal in Thailand. Most of the well known joints are owned by ministers and celebs so they are safe, other establishments are looked after by the Police!

You do see old guys walking down the road with a young looking Thai Woman, remember that this might be an innocent bloke walking his wife home, and all Thai women look young! If the guy is hiring the services for the night, I dont see a problem. Providing a good service is given and a fee is willingly paid then I dont have a problem.

If you go to Bangkok, Pattaya, Phucket you will see this type of scene, if you dont like it then dont go to the places where it happens.

If you go into the more Thai areas and you will be confronted by such things as Karioke Bars, Snooker Clubs and Car Clubs. All these are basically knocking shops with a legal front, for every girl you see in the tourist areas, there are ten more servicing the Thai dudes.

So go to Thailand, see for yourself. Dont get arsy and piss people off, leave the area and find one of the many top restaurants or tourist attractions.

Forty years on

Above is a picture of Elizabeth taken yesterday and next to it is a picture of me forty years earlier, I think there is some sort of resemblance!

What do you think?

Latest global flash point

I only hope America are watching the latest flash point in the world. We all know what little excuse they need to invade a sovereign country to oust a despot regime.

In the latest twist, this country as a religous minority based in the poorest part of the country, they have their own insurgency which is causing them more trouble than they are worth. Routinely the minority are shot, arrested, tortured and generally be-littled by the majority of the population.

Only the other day following an insurgency attack on a mobile phone base station, a gang of heavily armed vigilanties, armed by the goverment shot dead 3 and wounded 3 unarmed Muslim youths for coming towards the fire. This is another tit for tat attack by local goverment rangers on unarmed youths.

http://www.bangkokpost.com/topstories/topstories.php?id=118086

The death toll as surpassed 3000 in the last five years, obviously now, the insurgents will have to attack and behead an innocent tribesman in retaliation etc etc.....

This country isn't Dafur, Nepal or Columbia! No this is Thailand. So being as its an ally of the US it can pretty well do as much as it likes in the name of the war on terror!

This post is a rant, i'm on no ones side, but this is going to overspill further north. Then when a Bali style bomb hits Bangkok, it will be interesting what drastic measures the Thai Goverment will take and get away with.

Missing Songkran

This year I will miss the water festival of Songkran. Thank god for that!

It is a Thai water festival celebrating the time of aquarius in the sky, some call it Thai New Year. Basically it is a four day drunken binge with million's of litre of water being thrown about.

You walk down any street and you will have water and white clay throen at you, no amount of pleading will save you from a soaking. Good fun at first, but then it gets very, very boring.

Being as Thai's think its a slur on their manhood to drive sober, the number of road deaths over this weekend is staggering. Last year the boys in brown were chuffed only 2000 died in the carnage.

So happy Songkran to all the people I know in Thailand, and don't get to wet.

Pizza Choice

I've just ordered my first take out pizza since I got back to the UK, hope it hurries up i'm starving.

Thailand is very advanced in the delivery of fast food, you can have all the big brands delivered, McDonalds, KFC and Oishi.

Thailand boasts two large Pizza companies, Pizza Co and Pizza Hut. They are pretty much same same, I have to be careful what I say, Jimmy the Pizza guy works for Pizza Co.

In the quality stakes of the Pizza, Pizza Hut slightly edges in front. The taste is more to my western pallat. Pizza Co wins hands down on the side bits, salad and pasta dishes. Basically it which ever one is nearest when I order. For Jimmy's sake I always phone ordered Pizza Co.

The biggest differnce is in the dress of the staff. Both employ young, thin and attractive women, the difference is in their style of uniform. Pizza Co. Ladies tend to go for the Gym slip, pumps and tight T-Shirt look, whilst the Pizza Hut girls tend to look far more slutty, tight black dresses, loads of make up and little black high heel boots!!!!!

So you takes your choice !

The Visa

We are beginning the long and drawn out process of trying to get Nuch a visa.

Stupidly, as many have told me, we're going to do it all official and above board. The visa application is 11 pages long and one of the questions is "Have you met your Husband?" I guess that says it all about the standard of applications in the past.

The fee is £564, this is double the price it was in march. The main problem is the back log caused by the price increase, it could be at least a month.

The two things going against us idsthe fact that Nuch isn't from Kosovo, Afghanistan or Iraq! Also The Visa section in Thailand as one of the worst reputations abroad for denying visa's, This could be because so many UK blokes wanting to bring their Thai partners home.

What is it about Thai women????

Priceless

Some of the email virals I get are very funny, this one with its Thailand twist is top

Google Earth

Google Earth as got to be one of the best things to hit the internet in years!

The picture above shows with super clarity our house in Thailand, unfortunately my new place is no where near as clear.

The picture was obviously taken several years ago, where the arrow is now has our estate on it.

Smiley

Elizabeth is turning out to be a real angel. She seems to be continually happy and laughs all the time.

She as got into a good routine and is taking everything in her stride. She as been round all my family, away for the weekend, been to work several times and as met hundreds of people.

Her hair is growing after nearly falling out, she cant crawl yet, but its only a matter of time. Her teeth haven't come through, although you can see the whites of her teeth through her gums.

All she needs now is her Mother to come over and her life will be complete.

Work View

This is the view out of the office, its a plesure to be at work!

Downstairs are a Hot Tub and a suana, which i'm obviously too busy to use.

During the day you see wood pigeons, Squirrels and Magpies, boy I wish i'd got a gun!